Love is uncontrollable; we can’t fully control it. Maybe that’s why love has been praised and sung for thousands of years—it’s lawless and profoundly mysterious.
Some people, hurt by their partners, lick their wounds alone and never accept love again; while others can let go of the past, bravely face the future, and embrace all possibilities.
But after a breakup, which is easier to find happiness: getting back together or finding a new partner? The answer may surprise you.
Reconciliation, Likely to Repeat Mistakes
A friend of mine was married to her husband for over three years. She thought she had found an honest and decent man for a simple but content life.
She didn’t seek wealth; she just wanted to raise their children peacefully and grow old together. But behind her back, her seemingly good husband was keeping a mistress.
Unable to bear it, she filed for divorce. The man knelt, swore off the mistress, and begged for forgiveness. With pressure from both families and for the sake of their child, she forgave him.
However, six months later, she discovered he not only continued the affair but also transferred their assets…
The probability of reuniting after a breakup is 82%, but only 3% of these reconciliations last. The reasons for the remaining 97% of breakups are often the same as the first time.
Many believe in sticking to the original spouse for the sake of the children, but how many women are left emotionally and physically scarred by their partners?
If the root cause of infidelity is not addressed, getting back together a thousand times would be futile. So, when a relationship drains you and denies your worth, instead of rushing to reconcile, address the underlying issues first.
New Partner, Not Necessarily a Guarantee of Happiness
A remarried man once said:
He cheated during his first marriage, egged on by his mistress to abandon his wife and daughter. After marrying a new woman, he enjoyed a few months of bliss until his mistress’s seven-year-old son moved in.
The stepson showed no affection and refused to acknowledge him as a father. Feeling uneasy about spending money, he complained to the mistress, who now plotted with her son to exploit him financially.
His attempts to reconnect with his daughter and ex-wife were futile, as they had moved on.
In the end, he wrote, “I regret every day now, but I know this is my karma.”
Uniting two strangers through love inevitably brings various issues. It’s not the problems that are scary; it’s the belief that switching partners will solve everything.
There’s no such easy way out; you’re changing a person, not a deity. The excitement a new partner brings may lead to temporary euphoria, mistaking it for love. Unfortunately, it’s often just a fleeting dream.
So, a new partner is never the key to happiness.
Happiness, Ultimately Comes from Within
My affluent friend always thought she was happy, thanks to her capable and devoted husband. But as the saying goes, “Depend on others, and they’ll run away.”
Her wealthy husband fell for another woman, leaving her with nothing. Thankfully, with a friend’s support, she slowly overcame the divorce, started working to support herself and her son.
Eventually, as she regained her shine in the workplace, she realized: true happiness comes from within.
Some say everyone needs a companion in life. Both men and women can experience a fulfilling family life based on love. But never build your happiness on marriage or rely on others for it.
Happiness isn’t about being married or single; it’s about having the capacity for happiness within yourself.
One can be happy alone; being happy together just adds sweetness. One can live well alone; living well together is doubly good.
No one would refuse double the sweetness and happiness, but that doesn’t mean being alone equals unhappiness.