Psychological research has proven that all love starts with physical attraction.
However, a cruel reality is that many couples, especially middle-aged couples, have already become sexless.
Despite still having feelings and working together for the family, why has it come to this?
The underlying reason is the lack of hormones and different frequencies of needs.
Marriage is an art that requires management. Learning some “small tricks” can stimulate men’s hormones and make up for the deficiencies in needs, which can bring unexpected effects.
What You Think Men Need Isn’t Necessarily What They Need
You may think you’re giving men what they need, but it may not be what they truly want.
Men and women think differently, and men’s thinking patterns are vastly different from one another.
Don’t try to guess what men need based on your own assumptions. Satisfying men’s needs with your own standards is the most foolish thing.
What you give may not be what the other person likes or wants, and it might even be completely opposite.
If you misunderstand the other person’s needs, the more you try, the more unfortunate you’ll be.
This is the experience summarized by Ruby after many years of marriage.
Ruby has always believed that appearance is crucial and that men are visual animals who think with their lower bodies. So Ruby has always paid attention to her appearance, especially after getting married and having children.
Ruby thought that being beautifully dressed every day was the greatest face-saving and pride for men.
But reality soon slapped her in the face. Her husband, a straightforward and practical man, didn’t care about her elaborate dressing and only thought she looked tired.
Later, Ruby realized that men don’t want women to be overly dressed up; they want them to live simply and comfortably, just like they do.
Mastering Men, Being Cute and Weak
What makes women maintain their charm is not their physical appearance but their spiritual qualities.
Bill, who has been married for ten years, had a difficult time with his wife.
Bill’s wife was intelligent, capable, and strong-willed, with a motto: “I can do it myself, so I won’t bother others.” This “others” included Bill.
So, after getting married, no matter what problems or difficulties arose, Bill’s wife would always try to solve them herself and wouldn’t ask for Bill’s help.
The most severe incident was when Bill’s wife had a tight project deadline, worked overtime, and was exhausted. Her mother suddenly fell ill and was hospitalized, but she didn’t tell Bill and rushed to the hospital, eventually collapsing from exhaustion.
When Bill found out, he rushed to the hospital and scolded his wife: “You’re going to die from exhaustion? You don’t need me for anything, so what’s the point of having me?”
After that, Bill’s wife slowly learned to show weakness and ask for help.
In emotional psychology, there’s a view that:
A woman’s three killer moves to master men are being cute, weak, and playful.
When a woman knows how to be cute and weak, men’s sense of existence and value will instantly increase.
Gentle Hugs and Full Support
Carl, who has been married for 15 years, has always had a good relationship with his wife. He loves his wife’s gentle and firm hugs. Whenever he encounters problems and is unhappy, his wife’s hugs always come at the right time.
Carl still remembers one incident.
At that time, he faced a job transfer, which he didn’t like, and was worried about losing his job. When he came home furious, his wife quickly guessed what had happened. But she didn’t say much, just gently hugged him from behind and whispered, “It’s okay, I’m here.”
Men may seem strong, but they also have weak and helpless moments. When men are emotionally vulnerable, they may unconsciously hide their true intentions and retreat into their shells.
At this time, women don’t need to say comforting words or do anything to prove their love. A simple, gentle hug is enough to express support and companionship.
A rich emotional life is the root of hormonal surges.
In marriage, when you give what the other person needs, it naturally produces a strong sense of love, and the desire for each other will also increase.