A marriage without intimacy, love, and communication is like a three-legged stool that’s missing a leg. It’s a relationship where there’s no intimacy, no love, and no meaningful conversations.
So, why do marriages often end up in this state?
The Essence of a Marriage without Intimacy and Love is a Lack of Emotional Connection
Some people say that love, intimacy, and marriage are three separate things, and it’s a small probability that all three will happen to one person. However, in reality, these three often occur together.
Some people are even more unfortunate, with no intimacy, no love, no communication, and no money. What can they do in such a situation?
It’s not hard to discover that most marriages without intimacy, love, and communication started out with all three. However, as time went by, the love, intimacy, and desire to share gradually disappeared.
The reasons for this might include the mundane routines of married life, the fatigue of raising children, and disagreements. But the root cause is the lack of love or the loss of love. When there’s no love in a marriage, it’s hard to do anything.
Mutual love is essential for a willingness to share and communicate with each other. Sharing and communicating are not just about asking each other questions like “What’s for dinner?” or “How was your day?” The purpose of sharing and communicating is to deepen the emotional connection between the couple, which requires active listening and expressing one’s thoughts and opinions.
If it’s just superficial communication, not only will it not deepen the emotional connection, but it will also push the other person away.
“One person’s loneliness is not loneliness; one person finding another person, one sentence finding another sentence, that’s true loneliness.”
Sex is not necessarily based on love, but love will inevitably lead to sex. In reality, most extramarital affairs are not caused by the lack of love, but rather the lack of intimacy in the marriage, which leads to infidelity.
Perhaps one partner is too concerned about the family, or one or both partners don’t have the time or energy for a romantic life.
However, a romantic life requires harmony, and one person’s willingness to be with another is only for two reasons: love or need.
Many times, our hearts can compromise, but our bodies will subconsciously resist and feel disgusted. This is the gap between love and no love.
The Stage of a Marriage without Intimacy, Love, and Communication Typically Occurs in Middle Age or Old Age
The end of any love story has a process, which might start with mutual effort, then become one-sided, and eventually, both parties give up.
It’s said that middle-aged couples often experience a lack of intimacy, no communication, and a sense of emptiness. Ten years ago, Viola didn’t believe that a loving couple would end up in a marriage without intimacy, love, and communication.
But reality gave her a heavy blow. Now, she’s not only in a marriage without intimacy, love, and communication, but she’s also lost her job. With plenty of time at home, she’s not feeling happy, but rather empty.
She started thinking about how two people who once loved each other could end up in a marriage without intimacy, love, and communication.
Viola and her husband, Dante, were in a free-spirited relationship for three years before getting married. They weren’t a perfect match, but Dante’s successful career made Viola’s parents approve of their marriage.
After getting married, Viola got pregnant within a year. Dante worked hard to provide a better life for Viola and their child, but he never neglected them.
Their life was tough, but it was sweet. The couple’s relationship started to change when their child entered middle school. Dante’s business failed, and he accumulated a lot of debt. Viola’s mother came to help take care of the child, and Viola quit her job to find a higher-paying one.
Dante’s failure in business led to his depression, and he became withdrawn. Viola didn’t blame him, but she started to feel like she was shouldering all the responsibilities.
From then on, their home started to change. Conversations became arguments, and the once-busy Viola started to avoid conflicts, eventually moving out of the house.
Within a year, their home became quiet, with no laughter or arguments, just an eerie silence.
At first, Viola was satisfied with this state, not having to spend time and energy on mediating between her mother and husband, and not letting emotions affect her work.
It wasn’t until she lost her job that Viola realized she hadn’t had intimacy with her husband in a long time, and they hadn’t had a peaceful conversation in a long time.
She finally understood that she had been trying to change her husband, and he didn’t take responsibility for his actions, nor did he show empathy for her.
Many couples are like this, where one person tries to change the other, and they end up in a marriage without intimacy, love, and communication.
The Stage of a Marriage without Intimacy, Love, and Communication Typically Occurs in Middle Age or Old Age
This story is told to remind those who are still in the honeymoon phase or just starting to experience a marriage without intimacy, love, and communication that a good marriage requires effort from both parties. It’s like a career that requires dedication, and if it succeeds, the family will be happy, but if it fails, it will either be a compromise or a separation.
What Needs to Be Saved Is Not the Marriage, but Ourselves
Is it necessary to continue a marriage without intimacy, love, and communication?
This is a question that many people in a marriage without intimacy, love, and communication would like to know the answer to. Some people want to know if it’s possible to revive a marriage without intimacy, love, and communication, and how to save it.
In fact, what needs to be saved is not the marriage, but the people in it. Some marriages work because both partners are reliable people.
They may not have romantic love, but they have a sense of responsibility. Those without a sense of responsibility are just transferring their desires to someone else.
If a marriage lacks intimacy, love, and communication, and there’s no emotional, financial, or spiritual dependence, then it’s necessary to cut losses and move on.
If there’s only a lack of intimacy, love, and communication, but there’s emotional, financial, or spiritual dependence, then it’s necessary to break free from these dependencies, and the goal is to save oneself.