Life is like a marathon. When you’re young, you’re full of energy and passion, ready to take on any challenge.
But as you get older, life starts to slow down. You can’t do as much as you used to, and you need help from your children.
“A mother’s peace and happiness depend on her children. A mother’s happiness depends on her children and grandchildren.”
Your children are the continuation of your life, the legacy of your bloodline.
As parents, we do our best to give our children the best life, the best education, hoping they can grow up healthy and successful.
But how much do our children give back to us when we’re old?
How many children can stay by their parents’ bedside day and night when they’re sick? How many children can show a little more patience and care for their parents?
When you’re old, which child can you really rely on?
Six Children, Unhappy Later Years
The way parents raise their children determines whether their children will be kind and filial to them.
Often, the reason children are unfilial comes from the parents themselves. Maybe it’s because of the way they were raised, or maybe it’s because of the unequal love they gave their children.
Lucy was thrifty when she was young and saved up some money. She raised six children (five daughters and one son), and the family was considered happy and prosperous, envied by many.
Every holiday, her six daughters would come to see her, often bringing gifts and supplements. Lucy was very happy, always giving her grandchildren large red envelopes.
After Lucy retired, she didn’t stay idle. She helped her daughters watch their children.
She took care of one child after another, and even though it was tiring, she often told people how successful her children were, how well their careers were going, and how harmonious their families were. She felt content with her life.
Later, Lucy got seriously ill and spent all her savings on her treatment. Her children took turns taking care of her for a while, but then they all started making excuses.
The eldest said she was too busy with work, passing the responsibility on to the second eldest. The second eldest said she traveled frequently and couldn’t take care of her mother, and the third said she had to take care of her kids. They all passed the buck, refusing to take responsibility for caring for their mother.
Later, the five daughters agreed that their brother should take care of their mother because she had always been closest to him and had given him the most financial support.
She had bought him a house and a car. But the youngest son wasn’t willing, feeling it was unfair for his sisters to make him take on more responsibility.
The whole family argued, and Lucy, seeing the children she had raised with all her heart push her away so mercilessly, was deeply heartbroken.
At that moment, she realized she shouldn’t have made her daughters drop out of school to support her son’s education.
Her daughters didn’t go to school, and even though their jobs were stable, they didn’t earn much.
Also, because they hadn’t received much education, they lacked cultivation. They felt that their mother had favored their brother, so he should take on more responsibility for caring for her in her later years.
As the saying goes, “There are no filial children by a sickbed.” When everyone was healthy, they were all happy and loving. When they got old and sick, they realized that all their children’s efforts came with expectations of a return.
Whether Children Are Filial Depends on Parental Education
Many times, when parents blame their children for being unfilial, they should also reflect on whether their education of their children went astray at some point, leading to this situation.
If parents don’t educate their children carefully and don’t cultivate their children’s correct values, they will surely suffer in their later years.
A Lifetime of Raising Children is Not a Guarantee for Security in Old Age
“Some children make us feel that life is worth it, while others leave us with lifelong regrets.”
As parents, we always think that once our sons grow up, we’ll have someone to rely on in our old age.
But we don’t realize that no one in this world is truly reliable except ourselves.
Children grow up and have their own lives, their own careers they want to pursue, their own dreams they want to achieve, or maybe they have moments where they have to compromise for the sake of their real lives.
If children don’t have the ability to support themselves, even if they want to be filial, it’s pointless.
If children don’t know how to repay their parents, don’t understand the gratitude they owe their parents for raising them, and have developed selfish personalities due to their parents’ excessive love, there’s no hope that they will take on the responsibility of supporting their parents.
This Life, You Have to Rely on Yourself
The human heart is the most unpredictable thing. It can change due to many things in life.
It’s hard to maintain your original intentions, so don’t put all your hopes on your children.
Relying on your children to take care of you in your old age is unreliable. No one knows what the future holds, so it’s best to have a backup plan, to prepare yourself.
Life without money in your later years has no dignity. You have to rely on others for everything, even your closest family members. You’re afraid of being disliked, afraid of being annoying.
So, when you’re young, you should save some money for your old age, just in case.
If your children are filial, the money you’ve saved can help reduce their burden. If your children are not filial and don’t want to support you, this money will be your last resort.
A life without money in your later years is often undignified. When you’re old, having money means you don’t have to rely on others, you won’t be disliked, and you can live more comfortably in your later years.
“It’s not terrible that children have flaws. What’s terrible is that parents, as guides in their children’s lives, lack the correct parenting concepts and methods.”
If parents strictly educate their children about morality, when they show signs of greed, they should correct and educate them immediately.
Teach them to be kind to others, to maintain their pure and innocent nature, so they won’t become so self-serving.
Parents who blindly give and spoil their children but don’t teach them gratitude and self-reliance will only fuel their children’s insatiable nature, and ultimately, they will have to swallow the bitter fruit themselves.