It’s him who cheated and betrayed the family, but somehow it became my fault!
I can’t leave, but I can’t stay either. I’m stuck in the middle, caught between a rock and a hard place, completely at his mercy.
A friend of mine went through a similar situation where her husband cheated. She wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine, but he turned the tables on her, leaving her helpless.
Research on relationships shows that over 90% of men who cheat on their wives don’t actually want a divorce.
So after the truth comes out, they often use tricks to test their wives’ limits, trying to gain the upper hand and control the situation.
“Give me some time, I’ll break up with her.”
This is almost the most common line used by these men.
These guys cheat for the thrill and excitement, wanting to have their cake and eat it too. They don’t want a divorce, so after they’re caught, they’ll be incredibly sincere and apologetic, expressing remorse. Their goal is to keep their wives calm and secure their own interests in the family.
But they also don’t want to let go of their mistress. They’ll use reverse psychology, playing the emotional card, begging for time to sort things out with their lover. As long as their wives agree, and don’t set a clear deadline, they’ll drag things out, even slowly turning their “throuple” into a habit, getting their wives to tacitly accept it.
Roy used this trick on his wife. As soon as he was caught, he immediately apologized and expressed regret. Then, he begged his wife to give him some time to sort out the mess, saying that they had some history and it was hard to just walk away.
His wife believed his sincerity and agreed. But Roy just kept delaying, never really ending things. His wife would catch him, they’d fight, he’d promise to change, but his actions never matched his words.
Eventually, his wife got tired and started convincing herself: “They used to meet three times a week, now it’s just once every three weeks, that’s a big improvement. Maybe they’ll just fade away.”
The truth is, Roy never actually broke up with his mistress.
“I’m sorry, if you want, we can sign a divorce agreement.”
Men who say this don’t really want a divorce, but they don’t want to be on the defensive either. They take the initiative, pretending to give you the choice, watching your reaction and deciding their next move.
If you’re scared, they’ll gain the upper hand. They know you don’t want a divorce, so when you try to set boundaries, they’ll just play you, pretending to agree while secretly continuing to contact their mistress and enjoy their “throuple” life.
If you actually sign the divorce papers and set your conditions, they’ll understand your determination and won’t try too hard to save the marriage.
Men who use this trick are essentially testing your limits, figuring out where you draw the line so they can make the best choice for themselves.
Zack, a middle-aged man, used this trick to successfully navigate his marriage crisis.
He knew his wife was very sentimental and valued family, but she also had a strong personality and might not forgive him. So when his wife remained surprisingly calm and indifferent to his infidelity, he decided to take control, putting the choice in her hands, seeing what she would choose.
Zack’s actions caught his wife off guard, and his sincerity made her hesitate. In the end, she chose to forgive him.
Zack successfully protected his interests in the family.
Marriage is essentially a power game.
A man’s respect for you starts when you dare to challenge him, when you’re willing to walk away.
When you’re afraid of losing him, when you feel like you can’t live without him, he’ll feel even more valuable and continue to push your boundaries.
When you’re willing to challenge him, when you’re willing to lose him, he’ll actually respect you more and won’t dare to cross your boundaries.
The law of human nature is to bully the weak and fear the strong.