Ambiguity should only be present at dusk.
No identity has a rightful place in your life.
No reason to appear before your parents.
No excuse to openly embrace you.
Our ambiguity should only exist at dusk. I refuse to degrade myself to dust, despite my immense reluctance. Time’s erosion, endless hopes, repeated disappointments—it’s exhausting.
Is my expectation too high or your effort too little?
I no longer seek answers to the difficult question of love. I’m tired.
In a relationship, warmth is felt through mutual efforts. But it seems like I’m the only one trying in our relationship.
I still have love for you, but I’m powerless.
I’m actually quite satisfied with this breakup. At least I am still lucid.
The only thing unsatisfactory is the ending. Because I still love you, but I choose to leave.
This relationship has taught me five things.
Love is Mutual
Love is about giving and respecting each other.
I can’t recall when you started neglecting me, but I’m sure someone has taken my place.
Perhaps you no longer want to talk to me like we used to at dusk. Our time has passed, and now even the sunset hurries away, not wanting to linger with me.
I no longer ask why, because I know any answer from you would be an excuse.
So, since love is no longer mutual, I choose to leave.
Efforts are in Vain
I tried hard to change myself to be what you like. But I realized it was futile; it didn’t earn your reciprocation.
You know what love and care I hoped for, but your indifference made my efforts seem pointless.
Fine, I admit my mistake. I misjudged.
This made me realize that loving the wrong person and trying to change them is not as good as finding someone who truly loves me.
Love is Useless, Loving Each Other is Useful
When I tried to improve our relationship, I found that loving someone alone is exhausting.
Loving in solitude is useless; it takes two to love. If it’s not genuine, who would want to delude themselves?
I used to pay attention to everything you said. If your charger broke, I’d order one for you; if you wanted pomegranates, I’d buy them for you; if you craved sushi, I’d take you to a buffet immediately.
I felt jealous, sad, angry, even mad. But all these efforts were in vain.
Now I realize it was all meaningless.
Love Made Me Lose Myself
I became too dependent on you because of love. And this dependency made me lose myself.
The repeated disappointments seem to signal that our love has withered. Is this even love?
Looking in the mirror, I softly ask, “Who is this?”
“Love is actually a serious illness, but I’m recovering.”
I know leaving is tough, but I choose to end this illness; my recovery is underway.
Learn to Let Go, Be Kind to Yourself
I thought that loving you, giving my all, and persevering would bring happiness.
But I was wrong. The current predicament isn’t about not giving enough or loving the wrong way, but about you suddenly not loving me.
Leaving gracefully, giving myself a dignified farewell, is the best way to honor those past dusks.
Honestly, in my low moments, I often lie in bed alone, ignoring everyone. Watching videos, being moved by others’ emotions, silently shedding tears.
I often tell myself: It’s okay, everything will pass.
Letting go may be to avoid hurting oneself or to stop hurting each other.