One saying goes: Marriage is for happiness, divorce is also for happiness.
However, when it comes to remarriage after divorce, most people have mixed feelings.
For remarried men, there are often significant differences between the first marriage wife and the second marriage wife, all rooted in human nature.
Midway couples are all sneaky.
After remarriage, Old John deeply resonated with this saying.
Harry and his ex-wife divorced, mainly due to differing values. Harry’s ex-wife was overly attached to her parents, escalating every conflict in their small family by involving both sets of parents, especially her in-laws. This led to more conflicts and tensions among family members.
Managing a marriage is a matter between the couple, involving others outside the immediate family only creates more problems.
Maintaining boundaries with the original family is a fundamental principle of marriage management.
Unfortunately, Harry’s ex-wife never learned this. Eventually, amidst trivial conflicts, their marriage fell apart.
During the divorce, Harry handled it like a man, essentially starting fresh. He also provided a generous amount for his daughter’s support. Despite the failed marriage, he believed in maintaining dignity as parents. With a better job, he found it easier to navigate in society and considered the extra financial support a final thank you for the seven years spent with his ex-wife.
However, Harry didn’t anticipate that his generosity would become a thorn in the side of his second wife.
After remarrying, his second wife always doubted him financially, suspecting he was secretly supporting his ex-wife and daughter. Harry, frustrated, showed her the agreement he made with his ex-wife, but his second wife remained unconvinced, sarcastically remarking how caring he was towards his ex.
Due to these suspicions, his second wife also frequently supported her own daughter financially. Harry turned a blind eye, sighing in resignation.
Such issues wouldn’t arise with a first marriage wife.
Harry’s biggest wish now is to have a child with his second wife soon. This way, they would have a shared goal, and her thoughts wouldn’t be fixated on his ex’s child.
Weighing pros and cons, avoiding comparisons, is a typical mindset for many remarried men.
For Mike, his second wife is the best and most important. Their child together is his priority, while everyone else is just outsiders.
This includes his ex-wife and the daughter from his previous marriage.
Mike never compares his ex-wife to his second wife. Deep down, he knows it’s a form of escapism.
Mike divorced his ex-wife due to infidelity, with his second wife being the other woman.
During the divorce, his ex-wife insisted on taking their daughter. Feeling guilty, Mike willingly gave their house and car to his ex-wife and daughter, agreeing to provide $2000 monthly for their daughter’s expenses.
His contributions to his ex-wife and daughter ended there. After marrying his second wife, he cut off contact with his ex-wife and daughter. He transferred the monthly expenses directly through a mobile payment app, avoiding any in-person or phone contact.
Ten years passed, and Mike only saw his daughter once during her college entrance exam. After marrying his second wife, his focus shifted to their new family. He devotedly raised their son and took good care of his second wife.
A clear sign of this was his complete disconnection from his ex-wife after the divorce.
All because his second wife was very sensitive about it.
Does his second wife have issues and flaws? Of course. Whether in love or passion, once entering marriage and real-life responsibilities, these imperfections surface.
Hence the saying: Regret who you marry and stray whoever you marry.
But Mike no longer dwells on the good and bad. Halfway through life’s journey, having experienced upheavals once, he can’t bear another. He just wants a peaceful and stable life.
For him, maintaining a good relationship with his second wife and son is his focus.
Because most likely, these two will be his support in the latter half of his life.
Psychology says:
The essence of marriage is value exchange.
All relationships, whether formed or broken, result from weighing pros and cons.
The good and bad of the first marriage wife and the second marriage wife are not in people’s hearts but in human nature.