This is the inner thoughts of a middle-aged man who cheats: When a man’s “little needs” are neglected, he will go crazy!
Morally, being unfaithful in marriage is despicable and should be condemned.
But in terms of how a couple interacts, his mistakes are not solely his responsibility.
When issues arise in a relationship, both husband and wife are usually at fault, not just one person.
The story of this man is worth every woman in a marriage listening to, reflecting on, and examining themselves.
Men Need Their Wife’s Admiration and Children’s Admiration
When I suggested mortgaging a house to start a business, my wife unsurprisingly took the opposing side.
She didn’t outright object but set a condition:
Unless your mom and the kids agree, we won’t mortgage the house for your business.
Hearing this made me even more irritable. If you disagree, just say it. Why involve the kids and elders? Your manipulative game, can it get any more cunning?
In this household, I have always felt isolated. My wife, my mom, and the two kids always unite against me.
In other words, although I provide for the family, I’m just a money-making machine. Besides that, I have no presence or value. Whatever I do, they don’t see or acknowledge.
As a man, who wouldn’t want their wife to admire them and their children to look up to them? Feeling worthless in front of them is the most unbearable humiliation for a man.
Unfortunately, I have become that man who endures such humiliation.
Men Need to Feel Valued
As an only child, before marriage, my mom mostly handled household chores. I admit I was somewhat lazy in domestic work.
I don’t deny this, but everyone needs time and space to grow. No one is born knowing everything. Given time and space, I believe I can do well too.
However, no one was willing to give me a chance to grow.
Shortly after marriage, my wife got pregnant, and then my mom moved in with us.
My mom was already retired, and she and my dad had a tumultuous relationship. In her eyes, my little family was her emotional support, and she was willing to sacrifice everything for me.
I appreciate my mom’s efforts, and I admit I felt relieved when she helped take care of my pregnant wife. Since I rarely did household chores, I lacked confidence in taking care of a pregnant woman.
But after my mom arrived, I was completely marginalized.
First, my mom helped take care of my wife, then my mom and wife took care of the child together. Whenever I tried to help, I was always criticized for being clumsy. With a busy job, slowly, I realized our family had formed two factions: one with me, and the other with my mom, wife, and child.
Not only did I feel undervalued and invisible at home, but I also lacked admiration and respect.
During this time, I made a sincere effort. My regular job income was average, and I also partnered on projects with friends.
I wanted to earn more money, improve our financial situation, and elevate my status in the family.
But due to lack of experience and bad luck, all these projects failed, and I didn’t make any money.
In the meantime, my wife’s income kept rising, making her more confident, and she often spoke to me with a superior attitude.
As for my mom? She thought I was a failure and sometimes even compared me to my dad, seeing both of us as useless.
Living each day without feeling valued or having a sense of presence made me feel suffocated, until I met that woman.
Honestly, in terms of abilities and knowledge, that woman was not as good as my wife. But she was gentle, dependent on me, and made me feel like a man again.
I hesitated, wanting to prove myself one last time through entrepreneurship, hoping my wife would see me in a new light.
But as soon as I mentioned a mortgage, my wife had a thousand reasons to reject it. Just like before, she didn’t believe in my efforts.
Out of a sense of compensation and revenge, I cheated.
There’s a saying:
Behind a child’s bad habits lies a cry for love.
In fact, this applies to adults too.
In a family, the relationship between husband and wife should come first, followed by others.
When someone feels undervalued in the family, they will strive to achieve something to prove their value to the family.
But when someone becomes too eager to prove themselves, they can become extreme and irrational.
At this point, fair and honest communication becomes crucial.
Remember:
Emotional value is worth more than gold. Embrace each other’s emotions to hold each other’s hearts.
Caring and encouragement are the best forms of love.