Maybe, too many people think the worst thing in a marriage is cheating. They might even stubbornly believe:
As long as there’s no cheating, it means the two people still have a good relationship. All problems can be solved!
Is this really true?
I’ll tell you, it’s wrong!
In real life, it’s not always the marriages that experience cheating that are the most painful! After all, when cheating is exposed, the original partner can redeem themselves in the following ways:
They see the truth that they’re not loved and can stop the losses in time.
They accept the truth that they’re not loved, but they turn a blind eye in the marriage and play dumb, using the cheater to their own advantage.
In other words, as long as someone isn’t hung up on the question of love or not, and they see through the cheater’s true face, they can quickly and decisively redeem themselves!
But, some marriages are different!
Even, compared to cheating, experiencing cheating has become a “lighter” problem! You don’t believe me? Look at these things, which are more disgusting than cheating, and more likely to make people ignore human nature and forget about self-redemption!
Physical Violence
In real life, many people are enduring physical violence. They believe that the person who uses violence just lost control of their emotions because of a moment of anger!
Because the person who uses physical violence often starts a deep, heartfelt confession after the violent injury…
But actually, these people who use physical violence are never really “out of control.” It’s because:
They’re counting on you to be willing to accept it because you “can’t live without this marriage,” and they’re counting on you to make excuses for them!
Simply put, they think you’re easy to bully, they know you have no one to support you, they’re sure you won’t leave, and they’re positive that you’re spineless and won’t fight back…
These people not only don’t love you, they’ve never actually treated you as a “human being”!
Compared to cheating, domestic violence is more harmful. It can’t be tolerated in the slightest!
People who betray a relationship, even if they keep the marriage out of self-interest, can still play the role of a loving partner for their own gain!
But, people who use physical violence will only “punish” you again without restraint!
For a person who uses physical violence, there’s no real repentance or believable promise.
Cheating hurts the heart and the feelings. You can stop the losses by not getting hung up on love or not, but physical violence can be fatal. The longer you stay with the person who uses violence, the more dangerous it is!
Being Ignored for Your Efforts
In a healthy marriage, both people are working towards a common goal for the rest of their lives, and they treat each other with shared hardship and joy!
In this way of getting along, the two people can be grateful and work together, putting their hearts and minds together, and their days will only get better!
But, there’s a kind of marriage where one person puts in an excessive amount of effort, always being ignored by the other. Not only is the effort not rewarded with gratitude, but it’s treated as “rightfully deserved”…
This kind of marriage is even harder to accept than being betrayed!
Because, when cheating happens, people will see through the truth of the changed relationship and make the most suitable choice for their current situation. Then, they can make a final short-term or long-term decision based on the reality!
But, when a marriage doesn’t experience cheating, but instead, the effort isn’t seen, the person who gives the effort will fall into endless self-destruction:
They either act more dramatically, trying to get attention, but the hope of being seen is always replaced by disappointment;
Or, they give effort while feeling their own “incompetence,” using self-doubt to deny that they are “not good enough,” their self-worth is getting lower and lower, or they’re being humble and accommodating in exchange for being bossed around and treated coldly…
This kind of marriage is a hellish torment for one person. Continuing it will only make them suffer more pain, and only make them feel like a tool that’s pulled out when needed and kicked aside when not needed.
As for the ideal attitude of being responded to, it’s even more unrealistic than a dream!
Leave, what’s the point of staying in a marriage where your efforts aren’t seen, recognized, or appreciated?
Being Continuously Belittled
In a marriage, being belittled by your partner is a toxic way to get along, and it’s a direct force that destroys a couple’s relationship!
What’s the purpose of a person looking for a partner?
The purpose, in a broad sense, is to find someone to share the joys and sorrows with. In a narrow sense, it’s to find a similar but complementary person, to choose a helper to make life better than living alone!
With the help of the helper, the two people support each other, admire each other, and guide each other positively, so that they have plenty of motivation and move forward in sync for the rest of their lives!
But, if the partner in the marriage never gives them admiration, recognition, or positive guidance, but instead uses belittling to create anxiety and pain, then it’s enough to prove:
You’ve found the wrong person!
Finding a partner isn’t about finding pain and suffering!
Compared to cheating, being continuously belittled is more painful! Because, in the heart of the person who is being belittled, they don’t really see the toxic nature of the marriage. They only really think they’re not good enough, questioning themselves and tormenting themselves!
And the partner who is belittling them is superior and continues to poison them, with no intention of taking back the poison they’ve released!
Leave, a person who doesn’t acknowledge you but is still with you is a psychologically twisted, insecure person. They’re using belittling to find a sense of accomplishment!
Only when you leave this person will you become yourself!
I just want to tell everyone in a marriage:
If you love, love deeply, if you don’t love, let go! Don’t hurt them while you don’t love them!
Although, the above three things are worse than cheating, it doesn’t mean that cheating is acceptable! Cheating, combined with the above three things, are all evil deeds that a person should stop losses in time!