A lot of women sadly find that their husbands don’t do much around the house.
First, they don’t do many chores or watch the kids much. When you ask them to help, they always say they’re too busy and tired.
Second, they don’t spend much money. Even though they make good money, they don’t want to spend it on the family. They’re even cheap about their kids’ education.
Women try to find solutions, but they usually don’t get anywhere.
A lot of people think it’s normal for women to take care of the kids and housework. But actually, men have responsibilities too.
But even so, a lot of guys don’t want to do their part.
But there’s always a solution. If you guide him right, he’ll want to do more for the family.
Here are three bad habits women should change in their marriages so their husbands will do more for them.
See and Acknowledge What He Does
Everyone wants their efforts to be noticed.
For example, if you cook a delicious meal, you want someone to say it’s good. If you clean the house, you want your family to compliment you.
So if someone gets positive feedback after doing something, they’ll be more motivated to keep doing it, and they’ll do it even better next time.
It’s the same for men. If a woman asks a man to do something and he doesn’t do it perfectly, she’ll criticize him and say he didn’t do it right.
At that point, a lot of men feel really bad. They tried to do it, but they got criticized anyway. They think it’s easier to just not do it.
That’s what happened with Sarah. Whenever she was busy, she’d ask her husband to help. But after he helped, she’d always criticize him and say he didn’t do it well enough.
And it wasn’t just that. Sometimes he didn’t want to pay for their kid’s tutoring. Sarah and her husband argued about it for a long time.
He felt really bad because he felt like Sarah never acknowledged what he did.
This might seem like you’re just venting, but it actually pushes the relationship further apart.
You’re basically telling him he doesn’t do enough, and the longer it goes on, the worse it gets.
He starts to think, “Since you think I don’t do anything, I’ll just stop trying.”
Then things get worse and worse, and it becomes a vicious cycle.
But if you acknowledge what he does, he’ll naturally want to do more. When he does something around the house, thank him and show him you appreciate it.
Don’t think small things don’t count. Even the smallest things are still efforts.
Let Him Be More Involved in Family Stuff
The biggest compliment women get is usually “You’re so capable.”
They can work, keep the house clean, and take care of the kids. But because they do everything around the house, their husbands don’t know anything about what goes on.
That’s how Jessica and her husband, David, were.
Jessica worked, took care of the kids, and was always busy. But even though she was busy, she never asked David for help. Even though he was home every day, he never did anything around the house.
One time, Jessica and David fought, and Jessica ran away. But she hadn’t been gone long before David called her and asked where the kids’ shoes were.
He didn’t even know where their shoes were, so you can see that he never did anything around the house.
In this kind of relationship, it feels like the woman is raising two kids, a big one and a little one, and neither of them helps. It just wears you out.
So for your own sake, try to get your husband involved in family stuff. Even if he doesn’t do it right at first, don’t discourage him.
But in real life, when women see their husbands trying to do chores and they’re not good at it, they’ll push them away and say, “You can’t do anything right. I might as well just do it myself.”
But the more you do that, the clumsier he’ll be. He doesn’t have any experience, so how can he be good at it right away? Instead of making yourself mad, give him some compliments and let him help with things around the house.
Over time, he’ll become a better husband and father.
Let Go of the Need to Control
Women tend to be more controlling than men. They want to control the family and make all the decisions. They want everything to be their way.
For example, a woman might ask her husband to watch the kids, but when he does, she notices that he does it differently than she does.
Then she starts criticizing him. She says he’s doing this wrong and that wrong. She basically thinks he can’t do anything right.
Is it really that he’s doing a bad job? Maybe not. Maybe he’s just not doing it her way. And maybe she wants him to do it perfectly.
But everyone has their own habits. Even your partner can’t do everything perfectly the way you want because you have different priorities.
For example, a father might care more about letting his kids be free, so he’ll give them a big space to play and let them play whatever they want.
But a mother might be worried about her kids’ safety, so she’s not comfortable letting them play by themselves. Even if they’re playing freely, she’s always watching them. She’s constantly telling them not to touch this or not to go there.
That’s the difference between husbands and wives.
Neither of you is wrong. If you always try to force your ideas on your partner and make him do things your way, he’ll get frustrated.
No one likes to be controlled. Instead of trying to control him, give him some trust and let go. In the end, you’ll get what you want.
Marriage is like a company, and you and your husband are partners. You have to work together and manage the company together. That way, the company can grow, and your relationship will get stronger.